Dear Respected Supreme Leader, father of Mangoville Nation,
I hope you are finding this letter with good spirits because I am attaching one 750 ml bottle of Blue Riband Gin along with it. I know you are loving your single malts and craft brews anna, but me poor Rowdy can only afford this much since you are not controlling inflation. This bottle was costing Rs 570 one month back and now I had to buy it for Rs 630. Full 60 Rupees loss I am making in writing this letter. I will recover it from you next time when you go to Baiganpally railway station by charging you extra for luggage.
Supreme Leader anna, you are always saying same thing – inflation cannot be controlled because it is happening everywhere in the world. Because I am not studious person and not knowing much about the world, you are easily fooling me. War is happening in Ukraine so far from Mangoville, how we are affected you tell me. Yesterday I am calculating distance from Baiganpally to Ukraine and Google Maps is telling me that I cannot drive there with my Rickshaw, it is so far. Google Maps is not wanting me to go to Ukraine sir because I will come to know the truth. People are crossing the world on foot and entering Ganesh Book of Records and Google is saying it is not possible on 3 wheeler? It is anti poor like you. When rich man deciding to walk on foot, it is showing that it will take 1500 hours. Why it is not showing route for Rickshaw then? I may be less educated anna, but I am not an idiot.
Sir, while writing this letter I am getting too much emotional so I am deciding to drink one quarter out of the Blue Riband Gin bottle. Please don’t mind sir. I did not drink directly from the bottle so it is clean only. Normally I am drinking directly from bottle, but I am respecting you so much, I do not want to touch it.
When war is not happening then prices are not rising? Before this you were complaining too much rains are destroying crops, even before that you were saying too little rain destroying crop. I also remember you were blaming some insects called locusts were eating crops. It is looking like even Gods and insects are unhappy with you anna. Why don’t you just resign and let me become President? I have too much experience of being President of Baiganpally Rickshaw Drivers Union. In the last 5 years I have made sure all fare meters are not in working condition and all drivers are able to charge 1.5 times fare. I am also doing partnership with Baiganpally Road Company to put bus lane so that there is traffic jam and we drivers have honest reason to charge extra. Have you done any such innovation things in your office Sir? Simply you are becoming President because you are looking posh and educated and able to make big big speeches on social media.
Nothing is going right anna. This Bollywood joker Ranvir Singh is jumping too much and asking all people to buy Bitcoin, telling them that their luck will also become good luck some day. I am believing him and investing in Bitcoin and now Bitcoin also going down. Why when everything becoming costly, Bitcoin going down? This Bitcoin also corrupt like you and Google anna. Mishra ji is correct when he is telling that all big companies are fooling people, becoming rich and making us poor. He is telling he is joining Communist Party of Mangoville as side business and he is planning to go on strike to demand more salary from his company otherwise he will stand at traffic signal and show his CEO’s photo to everyone:
Supreme Leader Anna, after talking about Mishra ji’s will power, I am also getting very motivational and emotional with tears in my eyes, so I am deciding to drink one more quarter of Blue Riband Gin. Hope you don’t mind Sir. There is still half bottle left after this. It is more than enough.
Tell me Sir, what can be a bigger tragedy than this. One kg of Baiganpally mango, the common people’s mango is costing 110 Rupees in Fruity Farookh’s shop. Our city is named after this mango. It is utmost insult that this fruit has become out of reach of common people! For this reason alone you should resign. The mango is our personality and if we cannot able to eat mango, we have no personality Sir. It was my mother’s dream that everyday in summer she will feed me one mango. On the day she died, she asked me to promise that I will eat one mango every day in summer and on her birthday I will offer one box of mangoes to Mangodevi Temple on Mangomalai hilltop. Till now I have been eating one mango per day, but I cannot able to offer full box on her birthday. Whatever money I had saved for the mango box, I have spent on buying Blue Riband Gin bottle for you. For you anna!! And you are not able to do anything for us.
Supreme Leader Anna, I cannot control my tears because my mother’s face is flashing in front of my eyes scolding me for not offering mango box to Mango Devi on Mangomalai hilltop. She is telling me if I am not offering box then Mango Devi is cursing whole of Baiganpally with drought. I am so scared that I am forced to drink another quarter of Blue Riband Gin. Sorry anna, now only one quarter is left for you. But it is better than nothing. One quarter is good for one evening.
Only more thing I am wanting to tell you. Please reduce petrol prices. In Totapuri petrol is costing Rs 2o per litre. You will tell me that it is fake news and that I am depending too much on WhatsApp University for my knowledge. But Rowdy also becoming smart Sir. I am downloading new app called Accuweather which is telling me exact price of petrol in every city in the world. It is also telling me price for next month and after that. This morning only I checked and price of petrol is 23 in Totapuri. Next month it is becoming 32 but it is still cheaper than Baiganpally. Now you see anna, Rowdy is not stupid and you cannot able to fool Rowdy. Mishra ji is telling me knowledge is power so I am increasing my knowledge day by day. If you are again going to tell me that wheat is coming from Ukraine, petrol is coming from Ukraine, Sambhar powder, coconut and Chowmein is also coming from Ukraine, then I will prove you wrong.
Supreme Leader Anna, I am feeling so happy after becoming powerful with knowledge, I am deciding to drink one more quarter of Blue Riband Gin. Now nothing is left for you but this empty bottle. It will not be good manners to send empty bottle, so I am filling it with petrol from my Rickshaw. I have never done this for anyone Sir. I can give blood for free, but taking out petrol from my own Rickshaw is like giving away one of my livers. Please put this in your car and remember me when you go out on a useless drive for doing nothing. And you owe me 60 Rupees also.
Yours Sincerely
Humble Servant
Rickshaw Rowdy