Yippee. Finally I have been accepted as a contributor to Mangoville by the rather pompous President on the condition that I don’t call him pompous. LMAO. Poor chap has no clue how deceptive Aunty Opinion can be. Don’t be fooled by the cute profile picture. That is part of the deception. It was enough to fool Mr. President. Hehehe.
I like to poke my nose in everyone’s business, especially if they are my neighbours. No no, I am not talking about just Mr. Venkataraman next door. Aunty Opinion plays in the big league. Right now my eyes are on the action unfolding in our western neighbour Pakistan. They just don’t let a democratically elected government complete its term. It is some kind of itch that has to be scratched at all costs. Imran Khan is now saying that Mangoville is responsible for the takhta-palat (regime overthrow). Regardless of the truth in it, it is a compliment. You have arrived on the global stage when you can overthrow governments. It is one allegation that you should not deny but just be quiet about
The political leadership of Mangoville has been uncharacteristically quite about the developments, but I believe it is because the President has been sleeping (literally) since the crisis began, otherwise he would have been the first to like Imran’s accusatory tweet. No worries. That is what Aunty Opinion is for. I am fully authorised by the President to react to such developments without any liability. And I declare that we want Bilawal Bhutto Zardari as Prime Minister of Pakistan to serve as a test case for a government run by a Pappu, so that we can be prepared when we get our own.
Trouble in Paradise
Pakistan is not the only neighbour in crisis. The Lankans too are no more a happy nation, for reasons I don’t fully comprehend myself. My educated guess is that they caught on the over-construction disease and started building too many fancy properties for foreign tourists, who disappeared after Covid. But Lankans have seen worse times and hopefully they will bounce back. Mangoville is unable to send any aid, because our President is still sleeping. Nice way to shrug off responsibility I say.
I would have visited the country to spend some tourist dollars, but my PR manager advised my that it would look snooty and insensitive. After all, this is Mangoville and our President insists on being down to earth and sensitive. How boring. But I don’t want to lose my rights as a contributor, so I will be obedient. In any case, I just wanted to check if my real neighbour (Mr. Venkataraman) is actually in Jaffna as his Instagram status says. Something about selling ancestral property blah blah. He owes me money and is unreachable since last week. Maybe he will have some good news once he is back. Writing for Mangoville does not pay my bills.