A visit to the grocer turned sour

Do you have free range cow milk?

Nothing in this shop is free sir

No I mean milk of cows who roam around freely

All my cows are always roaming around freely on the road. Look, one is sitting at the traffic signal right now.

Ok, but free range cows are supposed to be happy. Are your cows happy?

I don’t poke my nose their domestic matters. Do you want anything else?

Yes, my wife is a fruitarian. And she only eats those fruits which have fallen from the tree on their own.

She must not be getting much to eat then

Well sometimes I shake a tree or simply buy the fruit. I know its cheating, but got to keep her alive

Interesting. So what fruit do you want

Jackfruit is her favourite. I will take one

I have never seen jackfruits falling from a tree. And I hope like hell they don’t start now

Hey whose photo is that in the frame? Never seen a cow’s photo with a garland around it. What happened to her?

She was my favourite cow. One day she was relaxing under a coconut tree and a huge coconut fell on her and killed her. Never seen a coconut falling like that.

Er, I think I will make a move. You can skip the jackfruit

Wait! Do you have another fruitarian wife who likes coconuts?

Yeah, but we separated many years ago. I will go now

You are a killer. I will avenge her death

You can’t prove anythingI don’t need to.

I will just ask my free range cow to crush you. That should make her very happy.

I will escape in my battery-operated-solar-grid-connected bicycle.

Your bike is discharged. Run for your life

Dammit. How can I compensate you and save my life?

Here take these potatoes and tell your wife that they fell from the ground. If you are alive after that call me and our scores shall be settled.