I am getting tired of scientists. They keep coming up with new theories about black holes. If only they had consulted Superpower Swamy about these mysterious objects, the matter would have been settled once and for all. How can science understand black holes? How can they understand something that cannot be seen, cannot be investigated? This is beyond the realm of science. Since childhood I have been analysing black holes. Ever since my guru Bhayankar Baba left this mortal world for a black hole, I have been fascinated by them.
It was a cold December night, when Bhayankar Baba knocked on my cottage door when I was doing a headstand and trying to drink toddy without spilling it. I will never forget Baba’s words –
‘You should not do headstand wearing a lungi’.
– Bhayankar Baba
The lungi was covering my face, but Baba’s voice was unmistakable. He sounded like he meant business. Immediately I returned to normal position and saw that Baba was holding some food in his hand. The aroma of drumstick sambhar and garlic chutney was overpowering me.
It was very uncharacteristic of Baba to give me food, but just as I was about to thank him, he roared – ‘I am leaving!’
There was a finality in his voice that I had never felt before. I knew he was going for good. But I was wondering why he was carrying tasty food for his last journey. That would be such a waste. I mean eating food would only delay the inevitable. Besides, if he had the need to eat on his final journey, he would also have a need to relieve himself, and I wonder if the final place allows you to do that.
I am going to take samadhi in a black hole! As the most worthless swamy in this ashram, you shall be my successor. May this ashram be reduced to ashes after I am gone. There can be only one Bhayankar Baba
– Bhayankar Baba
I thanked him for the appointment and asked him if I could also inherit the food he was carrying. What happened later is something I would rather not say, but it is a good thing he went to a black hole. Now his yantra is mine and I can develop new super powers with it. You might be wondering why he didn’t take his yantra along with him. Well, actually he did, but a replica that I had slipped into his room earlier. You see, Baba used to think I am a usurper and one day I will throw him out of his own ashram.
I can tell you that black holes exist, because Baba never came back. In the past he had tried to take samadhi or leave the ashram on various pretexts, but always returned. This time he figured out the coordinates of some black hole and reached the location. News reports mention that an unexplainable crater was found near Baiganpally lake, without any traces of a meteorite. A tiffin box containing sambhar, garlic chutney and set dosas was also found near it. Some unbelievers are saying that it is an abandoned borewell. They are so stupid. How can a borewell, so near to the lake be abandoned. If it was a borewell our President would have already built a house on top of it just for the water supply. Talking of water supply, I need to meet the President to urge him to add some soda to the town water supply. My new super power requires that people be flatulent so that I can try mass levitation on them.