Sir, I am not liking this Melon Husk fellow buying Jitter and bringing wash basin to office. What does he think he is? Last week one customer forgetting mobile phone in my auto rickshaw and I am going to his office to return, the security fellow is asking me stupid questions. Why? Who? When? All that nonsense. Here this man is carrying entire wash basin to office without pipe and tap, and people are treating him like hero. Is he CEO or plumber? He is also saying that he will fire lot of people. Can anyone fix wash basin alone? You need minimum two people to hold it in place. And what is this sink sink that everyone is calling it? Have you ever seen anyone sinking in a washbasin? These Americans always like to use strange words for everything.
Husk anna is saying that Jitter is free now. That is the whole problem. Now all sorts of rowdies will harass good people like me in the name of Freedom of Speak. Husk anna is also going to charge 8 dollars every month for blue tick!! With so much difficulty I got blue tick on my profile. With 8 dollars I can buy a full bottle of blue riband gin and write letters to Supreme Leader. Now how I will get budget to buy blue tick?
Harry is saying that he is losing his job after Husk anna is firing employees left and right. I am not even knowing that Harry is having job with Jitter. If I am knowing before, I am asking him to give me blue tick for free before he is getting fired. Can he not able to do this much for his friend who has done so much for him? Even then I am Whatsapp Harry and giving condolences but Harry is throwing attitude and calling me idiot.
Harry is total useless guy. I will never take him anywhere in my rickshaw again. But I want to offer Melon Husk a ride in my rickshaw for free, so that he can see how backward it is and he can donate 500 electric rickshaws to my union. I am willing to give him 5% stake in my Union in exchange. Even our own Supreme Leader cannot able to get so many shares in my Union.
Melon Husk is able to spend so much dollars in nonsense things like Jitter, but I am giving him bullet proof business plan and he is not able to understand. I don’t know how he is becoming so rich. Supreme Leader is saying that Husk anna is not doing it for money, but he is wanting to feel powerful. Have you heard of anything so dumb? If you want to feel powerful, you drink buffalo milk. Not just any buffalo milk, but milk sold by Fruity Farookh in his grocery shop. 100% pure free range buffalo milk costing 200 Rs for one litre. Fruity’s buffalos are freely roaming at railway track, town hall, cricket pitch and Aunty Opinion’s Japanese garden. Naturally they are becoming strong and giving strong milk.
Aunty is not happy with Husk anna. She is telling that 44 billion dollars is able to solve so many world problems like sending children to school and giving injection to old people. Aunty is also stupid. School is a waste of time, just like keeping alive old people. Rowdy did not go to school, Einstein and Aryabhatta also did not go to school. Mishra ji is double graduate and look at him.
Stop peddling lies Rowdy. I am triple graduate, not double. And the Einstein and Aryabhatta you are referring to are sons of my neighbour, who thought that naming them like that would compensate for lack of IQ.
– Mango Mishra
Although Aunty is not happy with Melon Husk, she is happy that she can now buy blue tick and pretend to be important. Let her buy. Elitist people like Aunty can only buy respect, not earn it like Rickshaw Rowdy. She is also appealing to Husk anna to ban my Jitter account, calling me a wolf in sheep’s disguise, whatever that means. Why will wolf roam around dressed up like a sheep, only to be eaten up by bigger wolf? She really has no brains.
Eh!! Look at the daring of this Melon Husk. He has forever banned me from Jitter. I have not even posted anything since so long. Jitter thinks I am low IQ person and spreading lies. What lies I am spreading? Calling Mishra ji double graduate and Aunty elitist is lies? Where is my freedom of speak? How does he know what is my IQ? I am having best IQ of 28 in Mangoville. In the last IQ championship held in Baiganpally, I was declared winner. Whole world knows about it. Husk anna is claiming to be very intelligent, then how he is not knowing this important news?
I have also decided to boycott Jitter. They should learn to give respect if they want respect. I am sure that after one month they will be begging me to join again. Then I will show them middle finger. Only if he is agreeing to fund me 500 e-rickshaws I am coming back.